What the estate agents really mean

What the estate agents said: A well presented, modern, one bedroom apartment.
What they really meant: A tiny flat with wood floors.

What the estate agents said: Internal inspection is highly recommended.
What they really meant: The outside is pig ugly.

What the estate agents said: Excellent access to the train station.
What they really meant: The mainline from London to Bristol pretty much runs through the living room.

What the estate agents said: Ample parking with close proximity to local shops and services.
What they really meant: Located in a bland 1980s housing estate dominated by car parking, miles from the town centre with a small corner shop about half a mile away.

What the estate agents said: Well proportioned apartment.
What they really meant: This flat has a bizarre layout.

What the estate agents said: Sought after location.
What they really meant: Sought after location for chavs and car thieves.

What the estate agents said: Convenient town centre location.
What they really meant: It’s above an all night kebab shop and nightclub and there sure as hell ain’t no parking available.

What the estate agents said: Under offer.
What they really meant: This place is such a shit hole that the landlord has given up hope and decided to flog it instead.