Despite…
1. My general opinion on Christmas being an overly commercialised circus of hype.
2. London shops being rammed full with people making any kind of purchase a nightmare.
3. Mass transportation demand chaos causing huge disruption and inconvenience
4. The weird fog epidemic presently plaguing London and the south east (at least, if not further).
5. My hour and a bit long train ride from Ealing this evening because a set of doors on the train decided to open for no apparent reason whilst the train was cruising along at about 60mph (seriously I am not kidding) (having a train jump to an emergency stop is one thing I hope never have to repeat) and the resultant damage control exercise.
6. Claire still being away snowboarding.
... I am feeling surprisingly festive with a selection of now nicely wrapped gifts sitting in front of my non-existent Christmas tree.
Have a good Christmas people.
Friday, December 22, 2006
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
U864
Interesting article (I thought) about a toxic WW2 submarine in the North Sea only recently discovered (via).
Monday, December 18, 2006
How much First Great Western Rail suck
To First Great Western Rail, may I just say that I have been forced into using your trains for just over six months now and must say I have generally been nothing short of being thoroughly underwhelmed by your service. However your recent timetable rearrangements are nothing short of bizarre, inconvenient and devastatingly dumb.
You are not allowed to announce with great pride that your new timetable provides a greater number of services. Your new timetable only provides a greater number of services because you have decided to stop them at every fucking station along the way. And because you have ancient relic piece of shit trains that accelerate and brake about as speedily as an asthmatic snail; this means that the journey into London now takes even longer than it did with your previously (slightly less) appalling service.
Add to this that you now appear to have made all the trains even smaller so they are even more crowded and everyone is forced to smell even more of their neighbours stinky armpits than before. Seriously, at what point did you think that any mainline service between London and Reading was going to comfortably accommodate everyone from all the stations you now kindly stop at when it only has two carriages?
This is of course assuming that the train fucking works. Lest I not go into detail about how you imprisoned myself and an array of other hapless passengers on one of your delightfully shit trains when it decided to break down half way between Maidenhead and Taplow and you left us stranded in the middle of nowhere for three hours with no apology and no compenstaion.
And a further thing, on what basis do you consider it acceptable to cancel my train because of 'stock shortages.' I presume this means you ran out of trains? Seriously how can you fucking run out of trains? What did you tuck it up in the shed last night and get there this morning to find it had magically disappeared overnight?
And I say tuck it up at night because quite clearly you are no longer operating any kind of late night service. One of the few redeeming virtues of your old timetable was that I could get out of London at 2 o'clock in the morning. Now there's no chance of that, I have to sit on yet another of your slow trains having enjoyed my last drink at midnight.
So First Great Western Rail, can you confirm for me whether you are in fact running a train company or are you running a fucking circus. Should I expect the 08:15 to roll in next week being towed by an elephant, or perhaps the 17:36 won't actually be a train, perhaps it will be a baboon, or a chocolate teapot or something else equally pointless.
You are not allowed to announce with great pride that your new timetable provides a greater number of services. Your new timetable only provides a greater number of services because you have decided to stop them at every fucking station along the way. And because you have ancient relic piece of shit trains that accelerate and brake about as speedily as an asthmatic snail; this means that the journey into London now takes even longer than it did with your previously (slightly less) appalling service.
Add to this that you now appear to have made all the trains even smaller so they are even more crowded and everyone is forced to smell even more of their neighbours stinky armpits than before. Seriously, at what point did you think that any mainline service between London and Reading was going to comfortably accommodate everyone from all the stations you now kindly stop at when it only has two carriages?
This is of course assuming that the train fucking works. Lest I not go into detail about how you imprisoned myself and an array of other hapless passengers on one of your delightfully shit trains when it decided to break down half way between Maidenhead and Taplow and you left us stranded in the middle of nowhere for three hours with no apology and no compenstaion.
And a further thing, on what basis do you consider it acceptable to cancel my train because of 'stock shortages.' I presume this means you ran out of trains? Seriously how can you fucking run out of trains? What did you tuck it up in the shed last night and get there this morning to find it had magically disappeared overnight?
And I say tuck it up at night because quite clearly you are no longer operating any kind of late night service. One of the few redeeming virtues of your old timetable was that I could get out of London at 2 o'clock in the morning. Now there's no chance of that, I have to sit on yet another of your slow trains having enjoyed my last drink at midnight.
So First Great Western Rail, can you confirm for me whether you are in fact running a train company or are you running a fucking circus. Should I expect the 08:15 to roll in next week being towed by an elephant, or perhaps the 17:36 won't actually be a train, perhaps it will be a baboon, or a chocolate teapot or something else equally pointless.
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Travels
Well, looking back over the (somewhat thin on the ground) recent posts it seems the blog has turned into more of Nick's travel journal. So as not to depart from this general theme here is my rather fun map of where I have been. Create your own.
Friday, December 15, 2006
More adventures across the pond
In March we are going for a multi-stop trip to San Francisco and Vancouver. Claire has friends who are on work placement in Vancouver so we are staying there for free for ten days and having done considerable investigation on flights it transpires that it is barely more expensive to fly through San Francisco so we are stopping for five days there too.We are flying out to San Francisco on Virgin (because they were very nice when we flew with them to New York) where we connect to a flight to Vancouver with United. I know this sounds a bit weird but for quite a lot of flights out (or back) you have to connect somewhere (often random places like Cincinnati or Salt Lake City) and this way we get a cheaper deal than we were quoted from Flight Centre by around 250 squids and get nice Virgin Flights rather than having to board something crappy and expensive which seem to be the only airlines that fly direct to Vancouver.
Haven't booked anywhere to stay in 'cisco yet. Was thinking this place looked rather funky and is highly praised on Trip Advisor however my parents wisdom suggests that Fishermans Wharf is tack central and not the place to stay. We will have to see...
It is still three months away but I am already really rather excited, hence why I am telling you all about it.
Sunday, December 03, 2006
Ten reasons why I would move to New York
Now it has been about a fortnight since I got back from New York. And I can without doubt say it was one of the best places I have ever been. Here are my ten reasons which I came up with (in no particular order) without even struggling and could easily list more.
1. Food. The food in New York is amazing. Not only are the portions huge, they are extremely tasty, not greasy, oily, fatty, re-heated or any other negative things that you seem to have to put up with to some degree at almost any restaurant in the UK unless you pay through the nose. And also the service is excellent and swift and many places stay open all night meaning you literally can get what you want, when you want. And yes you can have breakfast at 3 o’clock in the afternoon, or a Chinese for breakfast. And on top of all that it is extremely cheap, I don’t think we paid much more than $30 (£15) for two meals including drinks and everything the entire time we were there.
2. Central Park. Central Park is stunning. It is without doubt the nicest park I have ever been to. And that is saying a lot because if there is one thing London is good at it is really nice parks. The contrast of Central Park against the tall buildings surrounding it is breathtaking in its own right. However the park in its own right is amazing, beautifully laid out and landscaped and maintained to the absolute highest standard.
3. Cost. New York is cheap. Especially at the moment with the high performance of the pound against the dollar. Ok, it costs a little bit to fly out there and stay but once you are there it is totally bargainous.
4. The people. New Yorkers are great people, they are polite, accommodating, open minded and generous. Taxi drivers at the airport looking for a fare helped us to our shuttle bus drop off point even when we declined their offer of a taxi, the woman in the shuttle bus gave us hints and tips on good local restaurants and shops on the trip from the airport to the hotel, people chatted to each other on the subway and let people get off the train before trying to get on.
5. The Subway. The New York Subway is brilliant. I can't stand the London Underground because it stops everywhere (going local in NY speak), behaves erratically and you got told nothing about why the train has stopped for no apparent reason in the middle of nowhere for 20 minutes. The New York Subway has express trains which just makes so much sense, they are impeccably clean and run very smoothly and if it ever stops for more than 20 seconds, somebody will be on the PA telling you exactly why they’ve stopped what they doing about it, how sorry they are and that the train will be moving again in about 90 seconds.
6. The Staten Island Ferry. One of the most breathtaking views in the world on a very pleasant and amazingly rapid ferry for free. Seriously, how is that not outstanding?
7. Shopping. Question: What would you like to buy? Answer: Its there, whatever it is. Also imagine how little it would cost, then half the price and that’s how much it is.
8. Empire State Building. Stunning building which looks good from afar and looks good up close. And the views from the top are far ranging and staggering.
9. Street network. New York is a busy place and the streets are busy and crowded with cars. However the traffic isn’t all that bad considering. The Streets and Avenues work like this: All the lights are red on all the junctions, everything along the entire street is stationary and all you can see is a vast nest of red lights. Then bam all the lights go green in one go, all the cars stamp on the gas and everything leaps forward by about 5-10 blocks. Compared to south eastern England’s lurching and arbitrary infrastructure this is extremely satisfying.
10. Getting there. It is a seven hour flight from Heathrow Airport. Go on one of those nice Virgin Atlantic flights into JFK and by the time you’ve had your pleasant in flight meal, a few glasses of free wine and played about with the entertainment system you have arrived.
Now any one of these reasons is an excuse to go in itself. If you haven’t been book your trip now. Seriously. Here are some links to help you.
1. Food. The food in New York is amazing. Not only are the portions huge, they are extremely tasty, not greasy, oily, fatty, re-heated or any other negative things that you seem to have to put up with to some degree at almost any restaurant in the UK unless you pay through the nose. And also the service is excellent and swift and many places stay open all night meaning you literally can get what you want, when you want. And yes you can have breakfast at 3 o’clock in the afternoon, or a Chinese for breakfast. And on top of all that it is extremely cheap, I don’t think we paid much more than $30 (£15) for two meals including drinks and everything the entire time we were there.
2. Central Park. Central Park is stunning. It is without doubt the nicest park I have ever been to. And that is saying a lot because if there is one thing London is good at it is really nice parks. The contrast of Central Park against the tall buildings surrounding it is breathtaking in its own right. However the park in its own right is amazing, beautifully laid out and landscaped and maintained to the absolute highest standard.3. Cost. New York is cheap. Especially at the moment with the high performance of the pound against the dollar. Ok, it costs a little bit to fly out there and stay but once you are there it is totally bargainous.
4. The people. New Yorkers are great people, they are polite, accommodating, open minded and generous. Taxi drivers at the airport looking for a fare helped us to our shuttle bus drop off point even when we declined their offer of a taxi, the woman in the shuttle bus gave us hints and tips on good local restaurants and shops on the trip from the airport to the hotel, people chatted to each other on the subway and let people get off the train before trying to get on.
5. The Subway. The New York Subway is brilliant. I can't stand the London Underground because it stops everywhere (going local in NY speak), behaves erratically and you got told nothing about why the train has stopped for no apparent reason in the middle of nowhere for 20 minutes. The New York Subway has express trains which just makes so much sense, they are impeccably clean and run very smoothly and if it ever stops for more than 20 seconds, somebody will be on the PA telling you exactly why they’ve stopped what they doing about it, how sorry they are and that the train will be moving again in about 90 seconds.
6. The Staten Island Ferry. One of the most breathtaking views in the world on a very pleasant and amazingly rapid ferry for free. Seriously, how is that not outstanding?7. Shopping. Question: What would you like to buy? Answer: Its there, whatever it is. Also imagine how little it would cost, then half the price and that’s how much it is.
8. Empire State Building. Stunning building which looks good from afar and looks good up close. And the views from the top are far ranging and staggering.
9. Street network. New York is a busy place and the streets are busy and crowded with cars. However the traffic isn’t all that bad considering. The Streets and Avenues work like this: All the lights are red on all the junctions, everything along the entire street is stationary and all you can see is a vast nest of red lights. Then bam all the lights go green in one go, all the cars stamp on the gas and everything leaps forward by about 5-10 blocks. Compared to south eastern England’s lurching and arbitrary infrastructure this is extremely satisfying.
10. Getting there. It is a seven hour flight from Heathrow Airport. Go on one of those nice Virgin Atlantic flights into JFK and by the time you’ve had your pleasant in flight meal, a few glasses of free wine and played about with the entertainment system you have arrived.
Now any one of these reasons is an excuse to go in itself. If you haven’t been book your trip now. Seriously. Here are some links to help you.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
How del.icio.us
Now I got bored with Jason Kottke's self satisfied ramblings months ago however stumbled across this rather amusing piece about del.icio.us eating del.icio.us whilst finding a link to the page I linked to here. You probably have to be an internet nerd to appreciate this though.
Sunday, November 26, 2006
In other news....
Right all sorts of little things have been going on that I thought I would have a brief rant about.
Firstly, you may have noticed some subtle changes to the appearance of Nick101, such as the loss of the Weather-pixie, the Blogger and Britblog icons and the loss of my nice centrally aligned format to posts. All due to the 'upgrade' Blogger Beta which I am somewhat nonplussed by to be honest (sorry nice people at Blogger (aka Google)). Additionally this has also messed up my Statcounter stats as the the html no longer works and I haven't had the opportunity to fix that yet.
Next... over the summer period those nice people at Network Rail appear to have installed a CSR (Cab Secure Radio) telecommunications mast outisde my flat which has only just become apparent due to the autumn loss of tree screening. I am not really bothered about this, and actually am not actually allowed to be bothered about this having ranted to so many people who have mobile phone masts approved by me that are at the end of their gardens that such matters were a non-issue and their children and pets wouldn't die of radioactive death plague. Interesting for me though as it tests my proffessional convictions.
This weekend I met Claire's parents for the second time which went very smooothly if I do say so myself. I also (and possibly more challengingly) met her autistic brother for the first time which also seemed to go well. I think fun was had by everyone although I do feel a little socially drained from the whole thing as I have only just recently got home from this little adventure (hence my late night post).
Speaking of Claire, if you are interested you can see her Myspace page and blog here (hope you don't mind the publcity Claire!) (I shall hold my tongue regarding my general opinion on Myspace).
More news... I am bored with my now not so new job (again) having been there nine months and am getting itchy feet again. Am intending on applying for another job with a certain other London Planning Authority. Although this one will require another move of home becuase it is massively uncommutable from Maidenhead, probably more into London (which I have been thinking about anyway... Chiswick, Acton, Fulham, Chez Bue locale methinks), says he in advance of having even completed the application forms let alone get an interview.
Erm, what else...
Presently enjoying listening to: Faithless - Bombs. Video is very good.
Presentlydownloading planning on hiring from the video shop as is legal and proper: Prison Break.
That is all for now. Have a good week people.
(And yes I know this post is full of repetitions and typos bt I don't care so there!)
Firstly, you may have noticed some subtle changes to the appearance of Nick101, such as the loss of the Weather-pixie, the Blogger and Britblog icons and the loss of my nice centrally aligned format to posts. All due to the 'upgrade' Blogger Beta which I am somewhat nonplussed by to be honest (sorry nice people at Blogger (aka Google)). Additionally this has also messed up my Statcounter stats as the the html no longer works and I haven't had the opportunity to fix that yet.
Next... over the summer period those nice people at Network Rail appear to have installed a CSR (Cab Secure Radio) telecommunications mast outisde my flat which has only just become apparent due to the autumn loss of tree screening. I am not really bothered about this, and actually am not actually allowed to be bothered about this having ranted to so many people who have mobile phone masts approved by me that are at the end of their gardens that such matters were a non-issue and their children and pets wouldn't die of radioactive death plague. Interesting for me though as it tests my proffessional convictions.
This weekend I met Claire's parents for the second time which went very smooothly if I do say so myself. I also (and possibly more challengingly) met her autistic brother for the first time which also seemed to go well. I think fun was had by everyone although I do feel a little socially drained from the whole thing as I have only just recently got home from this little adventure (hence my late night post).
Speaking of Claire, if you are interested you can see her Myspace page and blog here (hope you don't mind the publcity Claire!) (I shall hold my tongue regarding my general opinion on Myspace).
More news... I am bored with my now not so new job (again) having been there nine months and am getting itchy feet again. Am intending on applying for another job with a certain other London Planning Authority. Although this one will require another move of home becuase it is massively uncommutable from Maidenhead, probably more into London (which I have been thinking about anyway... Chiswick, Acton, Fulham, Chez Bue locale methinks), says he in advance of having even completed the application forms let alone get an interview.
Erm, what else...
Presently enjoying listening to: Faithless - Bombs. Video is very good.
Presently
That is all for now. Have a good week people.
(And yes I know this post is full of repetitions and typos bt I don't care so there!)
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
New York photos
The majority of the photos from New York are now on Claire's flickr. However here are some of my favourites (click to enlarge - the photos are quite big).
A really nice candid shot of 106th Street off Central Park West.
Claire being all artsy in Central Park.
Central Park, looking west towards the Upper West Side.
Nick and Claire in a helicopter. Yes that's right we did a helicopter tour of Manhattan which was nothing short of amazing, even if the weather weas a little grey and windy.
Statue of Liberty from the aforementioned helicopter.
Upper East Side of Manhattan taken from Central Park across Jackie Onasis lake (this is my new desktop background on my computer).
Nick and Claire messing around in Sheep Meadow in Central Park.
The Flatiron Building in Mid Town, New Yorks first steel framed skyscraper.
Nick and Claire looking very fetching by a fountain in Central Park.
Chrysler Building et al as seen from the 86th floor of the Empire State Building.
Fun in the Skyscraper Museum.
A really nice candid shot of 106th Street off Central Park West.
Claire being all artsy in Central Park.
Central Park, looking west towards the Upper West Side.
Nick and Claire in a helicopter. Yes that's right we did a helicopter tour of Manhattan which was nothing short of amazing, even if the weather weas a little grey and windy.
Statue of Liberty from the aforementioned helicopter.
Upper East Side of Manhattan taken from Central Park across Jackie Onasis lake (this is my new desktop background on my computer).
Nick and Claire messing around in Sheep Meadow in Central Park.
The Flatiron Building in Mid Town, New Yorks first steel framed skyscraper.
Nick and Claire looking very fetching by a fountain in Central Park.
Chrysler Building et al as seen from the 86th floor of the Empire State Building.
Fun in the Skyscraper Museum.
Monday, November 20, 2006
Flight time
New York is amazing. I didn't want to leave. However, now back in glorious England and feeling a little jet lagged. Photos (of which we have around 300) soon...
Did I mention New York was amazing?
Also congratulations to Laura who gave birth to six and a half pound baby Thomas last night at about the same time I was leaving JFK airport I think.
Did I mention New York was amazing?
Also congratulations to Laura who gave birth to six and a half pound baby Thomas last night at about the same time I was leaving JFK airport I think.
Sunday, November 12, 2006
New York baby
Nick and Claire are flying out to New York on Tuesday. We are staying here. We are going up this and going on this. And lots of other things too.Blog may be updated and photos may be added to Claire's flickr while we are out there dependent on time and internet accessibility. No doubt there will be more on the blog when we are back.
Monday, November 06, 2006
Cultural learnings of America for make benefit glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
This evening I saw Borat's new movie Cultural learnings of America for make benefit glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. This film is funny. It is also very, very wrong. Just when you think the absolute high point of wrongness has been reached it is subsequently surpased by further even more extreme wrongness. Go see.
Additionally, apparently potassium is not Kazakhstan's biggest export.
Additionally, apparently potassium is not Kazakhstan's biggest export.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Its bad to laugh at other peoples misfortune
Except when they are complete idiots who deserve it... Very funny video of dumb drivers having issues with rising bollards (via).
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Cold and windy and omg look what I was doing this time last year
I was going to do a brief post moaning about how it is now cold and windy. And well it is. So I guess that concludes that bit.
However as I was typing the title of this post into the title bar in the blogger interface the autocomplete function popped up with a previous post title I had done, specifically cold. Which erroneously reminded me of this post about daylight which I did around about this time last year.
But in looking for these posts to link to I found that this time last year on Friday I had my interview for my current job. Now this is probably fairly meaningless for everyone else but it is the first time I have stumbled across something on my own blog that I had forgotten about and re-reading it was really cool. A lot of things have changed since I had that job interview... (he says whilst staring wistfully into the middle distance).
However as I was typing the title of this post into the title bar in the blogger interface the autocomplete function popped up with a previous post title I had done, specifically cold. Which erroneously reminded me of this post about daylight which I did around about this time last year.
But in looking for these posts to link to I found that this time last year on Friday I had my interview for my current job. Now this is probably fairly meaningless for everyone else but it is the first time I have stumbled across something on my own blog that I had forgotten about and re-reading it was really cool. A lot of things have changed since I had that job interview... (he says whilst staring wistfully into the middle distance).
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Nandos sun dried tomato and basil peri-peri marinade
I have always been a bit disappointed with those sauces that you can buy in the supermarket that kind of imitate the sauces you get in the restaurant. However Nandos sun dried tomato and basil peri-peri marinade is yum! And I believe available from all good retailers (or at least Waitrose in Maidenhead).
Monday, October 23, 2006
Spurt
In case you haven’t seen this advert running in a number of papers recently.
“Spurt calls upon Britain’s nimby whingers to stop complaining about flight paths, noise and air pollution and the demolition of listed buildings. Be grateful you live so close to an airport.”
And the official site and an explanation of what is actually going on.
“Spurt calls upon Britain’s nimby whingers to stop complaining about flight paths, noise and air pollution and the demolition of listed buildings. Be grateful you live so close to an airport.”
And the official site and an explanation of what is actually going on.
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Motorola Razr Spazr
Up until recently I had been happy with my present mobile phone. It looks jazzy, its nice and small, had a reasonable amount of functions and a just about adequate camera that can be employed for impromptu photo opportunities.
However, I am now officially really fucking fucked off with this fucking phone and as soon as I come to the 12 month contract expiry point which is in the next week or so, I will be demanding an upgrade.
For starters the phone’s battery has never been that great and formerly would only last 2 days before dying. However recently it has started lying to me. For example one morning earlier this week I unplugged it from its charger in the morning despite it insisting it wasn’t charging despite being plugged in. Later that morning it showed low battery despite being charged overnight but reassured me that that was ok because it was charging, notwithstanding that it wasn't hooked up to a plug. In the afternoon it told me it had a full battery and that the charge was completed despite still not being anywhere near a charger. It subsequently died in the late afternoon.
Later I was heading out to Reading in the evening and travelling on the M25. I got caught in major traffic chaos and would like to have rung ahead to let folks know I was going to be late. But I couldn’t because the phone died. I then had a stroke of genius and tried to hook it to my car charger which I remembered I had. But no, at this event the phone advised me that it was unable to charge. So it had power to display an error message, but not sufficient power to charge. I mean wtf? So maybe the battery couldn't charge at the point. God knows why because it later found the ability to charge. But why draw what I presume was direct power from the car socket to display an error message. Why not draw direct power to normal phone functions?
Additionally the bluetooth link is fucked so I can’t export my present selection of particularly amusing photos I took on it recently. And it refuses to recognise any .wav file types so I can’t play any sounds or video on it any more or change the ring tone (not that I actually give too much of a toss about the ring tone but it would be nice to have the option).
So Motorola, take your fucking Motorola Spazr or whatever wanky name you choose to title it and stick it up your ass because I am getting some nice blocky, reliable, functional Nokia like I should have done ages ago.
However, I am now officially really fucking fucked off with this fucking phone and as soon as I come to the 12 month contract expiry point which is in the next week or so, I will be demanding an upgrade.
For starters the phone’s battery has never been that great and formerly would only last 2 days before dying. However recently it has started lying to me. For example one morning earlier this week I unplugged it from its charger in the morning despite it insisting it wasn’t charging despite being plugged in. Later that morning it showed low battery despite being charged overnight but reassured me that that was ok because it was charging, notwithstanding that it wasn't hooked up to a plug. In the afternoon it told me it had a full battery and that the charge was completed despite still not being anywhere near a charger. It subsequently died in the late afternoon.
Later I was heading out to Reading in the evening and travelling on the M25. I got caught in major traffic chaos and would like to have rung ahead to let folks know I was going to be late. But I couldn’t because the phone died. I then had a stroke of genius and tried to hook it to my car charger which I remembered I had. But no, at this event the phone advised me that it was unable to charge. So it had power to display an error message, but not sufficient power to charge. I mean wtf? So maybe the battery couldn't charge at the point. God knows why because it later found the ability to charge. But why draw what I presume was direct power from the car socket to display an error message. Why not draw direct power to normal phone functions?
Additionally the bluetooth link is fucked so I can’t export my present selection of particularly amusing photos I took on it recently. And it refuses to recognise any .wav file types so I can’t play any sounds or video on it any more or change the ring tone (not that I actually give too much of a toss about the ring tone but it would be nice to have the option).
So Motorola, take your fucking Motorola Spazr or whatever wanky name you choose to title it and stick it up your ass because I am getting some nice blocky, reliable, functional Nokia like I should have done ages ago.
Monday, October 16, 2006
Muffin anyone?
(Possibly only amusing to those who know him). You can now buy your very own deep filled version of Dave for the bargain price of £1.69. With blueberry no less.
Sadly out of stock when snapped in Waitrose Maidenhead.
Sadly out of stock when snapped in Waitrose Maidenhead.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Phone dump VI
If you don't know how my phone dump posts work by now then well, erm... you'll just have to look through the blog archives and work it for yourself. So here is phone dump VI, also known as the 'show us who this Claire person is' post.
My new sofa in situ. Possibly the most comfy sofa of all time but I would say that.
I bumped into Kenny from South Park in River Island the other day. Also known as Claire wearing an amusingly oversized boy coat.
Internal courtyard thingy to the Lloyds insurance building on architecture weekend (or whatever it was called) a few weeks ago.
Also wanted to go up the Gherkin (aka as 30 St Mary Axe) (aaka the Swiss Re tower) however it was pre-book only and was kinda booked solid.
Suprisingly blond moth, who spent an evening in my flat getting hit upon by generically brown moth. I didn't know you could get blond moths.
The most amazing shower of all time as seen at the Ideal Home Show at Earls Court. Being modeled here by Claire. Seriously look at this thing. Rotate the pod Hal.
Nick and Claire inside the most amazing shower of all time. The picture fails to capture the the life support display but you can see the surround sound speakers inset in the mirror some of the ancilary shower jets.
My new sofa in situ. Possibly the most comfy sofa of all time but I would say that.
I bumped into Kenny from South Park in River Island the other day. Also known as Claire wearing an amusingly oversized boy coat.
Internal courtyard thingy to the Lloyds insurance building on architecture weekend (or whatever it was called) a few weeks ago.
Also wanted to go up the Gherkin (aka as 30 St Mary Axe) (aaka the Swiss Re tower) however it was pre-book only and was kinda booked solid.
Suprisingly blond moth, who spent an evening in my flat getting hit upon by generically brown moth. I didn't know you could get blond moths.
The most amazing shower of all time as seen at the Ideal Home Show at Earls Court. Being modeled here by Claire. Seriously look at this thing. Rotate the pod Hal.
Nick and Claire inside the most amazing shower of all time. The picture fails to capture the the life support display but you can see 
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Here's a random link by way of an apology for not updating the blog very much at the moment and details about what I am having for lunch
What can I say, I have been busy (not naming any names). Anyway here's a random link to some funny flash thingy. Not really sure what its all about but it looks quite funky and you can click stuff, sometimes.
Right I am now going to have a toasted bagel and maybe some juice or tea.
Update: The bagle was very tasty. And I had a mug of green tea too. That was also good.
Right I am now going to have a toasted bagel and maybe some juice or tea.
Update: The bagle was very tasty. And I had a mug of green tea too. That was also good.
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Global footprint
According to this survey I need 3.3 planets to fuel my tasty, mobile and comfortable existence.
I would have thought I was below average in comparison to the rest of the Country in terms of global footprint but apparently not.
Would be interested to see what other people score.
I would have thought I was below average in comparison to the rest of the Country in terms of global footprint but apparently not.Would be interested to see what other people score.
Friday, September 29, 2006
How it should have ended
Amusing short cartoon on how the first (fourth?) (whatever) Star Wars film should have ended.
Monday, September 25, 2006
Sunday, September 24, 2006
This life +10
Look, they are making a This Life ten years on TV special. And re-running the original series too.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Ghetto latte
The story of the amusingly titled ghetto latte. And a slightly simplified version for those of you who (like me) haven't got the slighest clue when it comes to Starbucks-speak.
Thing is the cafe at work does the whole free milk thing so I am way tempted to ask them for a ghetto latte and see what they say.
Thing is the cafe at work does the whole free milk thing so I am way tempted to ask them for a ghetto latte and see what they say.
Why cash machines for dwarfs are the dumbest thing ever in the history of all time
This thing that has actually irritated me for a while (but increasingly does so at the moment because the amount I have to use them as they are numerous wherever I seem to be recently) is those low level cash machines. You know the ones that are set down in the wall so you have to stoop over and squint at the screen to be able to see the poorly angled display which is aimed at someone about three feet tall, and stretch your arms down to the keypad which is somewhere around knee height and then grab your cash and card which is helpfully dispensed at the oh-so-convenient just below crotch level.
Now I know these were installed to make it easier for people in wheelchairs to access cash machines but did no-one consider that perhaps everybody fucking else also has to use these cash machines too? And perhaps that everybody fucking else might not be an extra from the Lord of the Rings Trilogy and thus not have the proportions of a three foot stunted ape child? I mean honestly when was the last time you have ever seen a person in a wheelchair using a low level cash machine and sagely musing to themselves about how thoughtful the designers were to install a low level cash machine specially for them? I know how many I have seen. None, ever.
However how many times have you seen people carrying young kids having to strain down with kid in arms to reach the three foot high cash machine, or how many people with bad backs who don’t want to stoop down, or people with lots of heavy shopping, or partially sighted people, or really tall people who have to crouch on their knees to get at the cash machine. Or perhaps a regular person who is just rather fucked off at being made to grovel bent over at three feet in height just to use a fucking cash machine designed to be accommodating to a tiny proportion of the population.
Now don’t get me wrong I am all in favour of inclusive society blah, blah, blah, access for all or whatever (although I appreciate this sentence perhaps doesn’t convey that so well) but why should one very small group get excessively accommodated at the ridiculous expense of everyone else?
I mean, where are the left handed cash machines for example? Or the ones with extra large displays? Or audio cash machines? Why are these groups not catered for in the cash machine market but people in wheelchairs are?
Now I know these were installed to make it easier for people in wheelchairs to access cash machines but did no-one consider that perhaps everybody fucking else also has to use these cash machines too? And perhaps that everybody fucking else might not be an extra from the Lord of the Rings Trilogy and thus not have the proportions of a three foot stunted ape child? I mean honestly when was the last time you have ever seen a person in a wheelchair using a low level cash machine and sagely musing to themselves about how thoughtful the designers were to install a low level cash machine specially for them? I know how many I have seen. None, ever.
However how many times have you seen people carrying young kids having to strain down with kid in arms to reach the three foot high cash machine, or how many people with bad backs who don’t want to stoop down, or people with lots of heavy shopping, or partially sighted people, or really tall people who have to crouch on their knees to get at the cash machine. Or perhaps a regular person who is just rather fucked off at being made to grovel bent over at three feet in height just to use a fucking cash machine designed to be accommodating to a tiny proportion of the population.
Now don’t get me wrong I am all in favour of inclusive society blah, blah, blah, access for all or whatever (although I appreciate this sentence perhaps doesn’t convey that so well) but why should one very small group get excessively accommodated at the ridiculous expense of everyone else?
I mean, where are the left handed cash machines for example? Or the ones with extra large displays? Or audio cash machines? Why are these groups not catered for in the cash machine market but people in wheelchairs are?
Friday, September 15, 2006
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Black box
So on Google Maps and Google Earth a small chunk of land near the M4 just south of the distinctly unexciting suburb on Hanwell is this blacked out area.
You can click here to see for yourself and have a look in more detail.
Now I have stumbled across all sorts of rumours about this black box on my internet travels including allegations that it is a secret miltary base or the Sultan of Brunei's London residence. Clearly the people making these allegations are idiots as this is a crappy bit of land on the outskirts of Hanwell (with Hanwell's sole redeeming feature being that it is not Hayes and generally otherwise being about as interesting as a carpet tile).
Nevertheless, I have been curious as to why this chunk of land was blacked out (or perhaps just not surveryed) so using my secret connections (also known as the aerial photography at work) I can reveal that the blacked out area is in fact... (drum roll)... an empty field.
Hows that for a massive anti-climax?
You can click here to see for yourself and have a look in more detail.Now I have stumbled across all sorts of rumours about this black box on my internet travels including allegations that it is a secret miltary base or the Sultan of Brunei's London residence. Clearly the people making these allegations are idiots as this is a crappy bit of land on the outskirts of Hanwell (with Hanwell's sole redeeming feature being that it is not Hayes and generally otherwise being about as interesting as a carpet tile).
Nevertheless, I have been curious as to why this chunk of land was blacked out (or perhaps just not surveryed) so using my secret connections (also known as the aerial photography at work) I can reveal that the blacked out area is in fact... (drum roll)... an empty field.
Hows that for a massive anti-climax?
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Two movies I am trying to track down
Now on my internet travels I have come across two movies I want to see that apparently are either in cinemas at the moment or likely to be in the near future. However, neither of which I can track down any information on showings.
Shortbus was recomended by The Girl and looks interesting to say the least.
Idiocracy I found about on Digg and being by Mike Judge (of Family Guy, Office Space) just so looks worth seeing.
Shortbus was recomended by The Girl and looks interesting to say the least.
Idiocracy I found about on Digg and being by Mike Judge (of Family Guy, Office Space) just so looks worth seeing.
Friday, September 08, 2006
Blogiversary
Nick101 is one year old today. It feels very strange to realise I have been doing this blog thing for a whole year now.
Monday, September 04, 2006
This is by a wide margin the worst movie that I have ever seen
So the other night, for reasons I won't go into, I ended up watching Little Man at the cinema.
Now in case you didn't guess by the title of this post, this is the worst movie I have ever seen, ever. And I have seen some bad films in my time. The characters were weak and two dimensional, the plot was none existent, the acting was abysmal, the production values were lower than some home made stuff you can find on YouTube and the supposedly amusing premise of the film was about as funny as having your teeth cleaned by an angle grinder wielded by a blind, sweaty, street cleaner after the night shift on vomit inspection duty.
So it was with some pleasure that I find that IMDB actaully ranks it as the 23rd worst movie ever, the lowest one I have seen on their list.
Anyway, don't ask me how the movie ends because we left before it finished.
Now in case you didn't guess by the title of this post, this is the worst movie I have ever seen, ever. And I have seen some bad films in my time. The characters were weak and two dimensional, the plot was none existent, the acting was abysmal, the production values were lower than some home made stuff you can find on YouTube and the supposedly amusing premise of the film was about as funny as having your teeth cleaned by an angle grinder wielded by a blind, sweaty, street cleaner after the night shift on vomit inspection duty.
So it was with some pleasure that I find that IMDB actaully ranks it as the 23rd worst movie ever, the lowest one I have seen on their list.
Anyway, don't ask me how the movie ends because we left before it finished.
Sunday, September 03, 2006
Phone dump V
You should have got the idea about my phone dump posts about now. Here's more.
Matt's new road. Hehe, too funny (sorry Matt, the flat was very nice).
GBK, yum. Six inches of burger.
Now, whilst out in Ealing one evening these guys sat down at our table. I have no idea who they are but it was quietly insisted upon that I take a sneaky photo of them because apparently they were on celebrity hot-pants idol or something like that. I have no idea if this is true or not.
Dormerific baby.
Nick and Claire, erm, in a buggy.
This blew apart lunch time plans.
We went to Starbucks instead.
Matt's new road. Hehe, too funny (sorry Matt, the flat was very nice).
GBK, yum. Six inches of burger.
Now, whilst out in Ealing one evening these guys sat down at our table. I have no idea who they are but it was quietly insisted upon that I take a sneaky photo of them because apparently they were on celebrity hot-pants idol or something like that. I have no idea if this is true or not.
Dormerific baby.
Nick and Claire, erm, in a buggy.
This blew apart lunch time plans.
We went to Starbucks instead.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Carnival
Now the timing of this post is directly (I alledge) as a consequence of the subject matter it is about. Namely Notting Hill Carnival.
At the moment I am presently recovering from several 'bouts' in the toilet over the course of this evening that have left me feeling ill and distinctly awake, waiting for the next random event, if you know what I mean, to present itself. However, being in the position where I can't really move to much for fear of inducing further trouble I am left with two options. 1. Go to bed but now not at all spleepy and 2. play on the internet. I blame this on the chicken jerk I had from a stall whilst there.
Anyway, my present unhappy circumstances aside, here are some photos from the Carnival with commentry as appropriate.
Elenor and Claire before it got too busy.
Look how many people were there, and this was only one of many streets.
Funky white costumes.
Funky pink ones.
The random guy who lay down next to us when we were relaxing in a slightly quieter spot who subsequently began snoring very loudly.
All good fun, just a little unpset about the jerk chicken.
At the moment I am presently recovering from several 'bouts' in the toilet over the course of this evening that have left me feeling ill and distinctly awake, waiting for the next random event, if you know what I mean, to present itself. However, being in the position where I can't really move to much for fear of inducing further trouble I am left with two options. 1. Go to bed but now not at all spleepy and 2. play on the internet. I blame this on the chicken jerk I had from a stall whilst there.
Anyway, my present unhappy circumstances aside, here are some photos from the Carnival with commentry as appropriate.
Elenor and Claire before it got too busy.
Look how many people were there, and this was only one of many streets.
Funky white costumes.
Funky pink ones.
The random guy who lay down next to us when we were relaxing in a slightly quieter spot who subsequently began snoring very loudly.
All good fun, just a little unpset about the jerk chicken.
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Interactive architecture
If you liked the LED throwies then you probably (like me) also think that interactive architecture is pretty cool too.
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Bookcrossing
So yesterday lunch time I found this at the bus stop near Ealing Common Tube station. Now in my internet travels I was aware of the bookcrossing phenomenon and was delighted to find a book that had just been released.
Basically the premise of bookcrossing is that you leave a book in a special bookcrossing bag on a train, bus stop, coffee shop or even bus stop etc. for someone to pick it up. The collector can look the book up on-line, leave a journal entry, read it and then release back into the world for the next person.
Kind of like a benevolent, literary act of randomness.
Basically the premise of bookcrossing is that you leave a book in a special bookcrossing bag on a train, bus stop, coffee shop or even bus stop etc. for someone to pick it up. The collector can look the book up on-line, leave a journal entry, read it and then release back into the world for the next person.
Kind of like a benevolent, literary act of randomness.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
The umbrella incident
So yesterday afternoon in London it rained. And it rained properly. Constant rain from about 4pm to 7pm.
Now this was around the time I went to go home and catch my train. Thankfully I had my umbrella so wasn’t going to get wet. I walked one of the girls at work to the bus stop because she didn’t have an umbrella as I was being nice and not letting her get wet. Then I walked to the train station and waited for my train.
The first train was really super busy and I didn’t actually manage to get on it as it was that full. So I waited for the next train and successfully boarded that. This was also busy and I had to stand in the isle for the first few stops.
Now on account of standing and walking around in the rain, my umbrella was wet, and I mean seriously wet, it was soaked and I wanted to stash it somewhere in my bag so it wasn’t in the way and I could read my book. So I didn't soak my bag I shook the umbrella gently in the same direction of the isle I was standing in and quite low down so I didn’t splash anyone sitting down. This clearly didn’t work as an oldish man in a stuffy tweed jacket scowled at me so mouthed a sorry, stopped shaking my umbrella and mused on what to do with it.
Anyhow, meanwhile, the train did its pre-moving engine roar so I turned around to hold on to the seat in front of me as I was facing backwards at this point. I turned round via the direction of the guy in the tweed jacket I had just lightly splashed and as I moved past him my umbrella for no apparent reason issued forth a little stream of water, a little unbroken spurt about a second long that made a perfect trail down this guys trousers. Totally randomly.
Now this was pretty funny. Not only had this guy visually chastised me already and I had said a quiet sorry, but this was like 20 times worse and the look he gave me was priceless. I mean where the hell had this little spurt of water come from? Anyhow I couldn’t face the guy, principally because I had a smirk on my face, so I turned around and looked down the train.
Now this is where it gets worse, the middle aged lady on the opposite side of the isle had watched this whole exchange and then caught my eye. She looked at me, smiled, I grinned back like an idiot and then we both burst into giggles in the middle of the train carriage, all of this made worse by the fact that we couldn’t let the guy with the wet pants catch us because he would be like so mad and also the rest of the train would think we were nuts too. Which made it all the funnier (this is known as commuter camaraderie and it doesn't happen very often).
And the moral of this post is that you can be a quiet menace on a crowded train to individuals because the consequences to you are minimal. But if the victim complained he would draw the most attention and thus embarrassment from the hundred or so other people in ear-shot and then he would be the troublemaker.
Now this was around the time I went to go home and catch my train. Thankfully I had my umbrella so wasn’t going to get wet. I walked one of the girls at work to the bus stop because she didn’t have an umbrella as I was being nice and not letting her get wet. Then I walked to the train station and waited for my train.
The first train was really super busy and I didn’t actually manage to get on it as it was that full. So I waited for the next train and successfully boarded that. This was also busy and I had to stand in the isle for the first few stops.
Now on account of standing and walking around in the rain, my umbrella was wet, and I mean seriously wet, it was soaked and I wanted to stash it somewhere in my bag so it wasn’t in the way and I could read my book. So I didn't soak my bag I shook the umbrella gently in the same direction of the isle I was standing in and quite low down so I didn’t splash anyone sitting down. This clearly didn’t work as an oldish man in a stuffy tweed jacket scowled at me so mouthed a sorry, stopped shaking my umbrella and mused on what to do with it.
Anyhow, meanwhile, the train did its pre-moving engine roar so I turned around to hold on to the seat in front of me as I was facing backwards at this point. I turned round via the direction of the guy in the tweed jacket I had just lightly splashed and as I moved past him my umbrella for no apparent reason issued forth a little stream of water, a little unbroken spurt about a second long that made a perfect trail down this guys trousers. Totally randomly.
Now this was pretty funny. Not only had this guy visually chastised me already and I had said a quiet sorry, but this was like 20 times worse and the look he gave me was priceless. I mean where the hell had this little spurt of water come from? Anyhow I couldn’t face the guy, principally because I had a smirk on my face, so I turned around and looked down the train.
Now this is where it gets worse, the middle aged lady on the opposite side of the isle had watched this whole exchange and then caught my eye. She looked at me, smiled, I grinned back like an idiot and then we both burst into giggles in the middle of the train carriage, all of this made worse by the fact that we couldn’t let the guy with the wet pants catch us because he would be like so mad and also the rest of the train would think we were nuts too. Which made it all the funnier (this is known as commuter camaraderie and it doesn't happen very often).
And the moral of this post is that you can be a quiet menace on a crowded train to individuals because the consequences to you are minimal. But if the victim complained he would draw the most attention and thus embarrassment from the hundred or so other people in ear-shot and then he would be the troublemaker.
Monday, August 21, 2006
To P312 HBG
This guy pulled out in front of me and then proceeded to drive really slowly down Shoppenhangers Road earlier today. Thus being both rude for pulling out in front of me and then having the nerve to hold me (and others) up.
So I thought, I know, I will take a photo of this chump and put it on the internet so everyone from around the world (except maybe China) can know that this guy is an inconsiderate idiot who doesn't know how to drive.
Haha, take that P312 HBG man.
So I thought, I know, I will take a photo of this chump and put it on the internet so everyone from around the world (except maybe China) can know that this guy is an inconsiderate idiot who doesn't know how to drive.Haha, take that P312 HBG man.
Sunday, August 20, 2006
The curse of the blog
Over the past year nearly(!) that I have been doing this blog I have come across one particular thing that I call the blog curse. This is where I make a speculative post or a post about something I like and subsequently it all goes wrong.
Now let me show you what I am talking about.
I made this post about having got a new flat that I liked. I subsequently lost it and then ended up in this situation.
I made this post (which is by a wide margin the one most mentioned when I meet people) about oriental girls sitting next to me on the train and then oriental girls stopped getting on the train. Like literally, there are no oriental girls on the train any more.
I posted this about how my stats were improving and they subsequently fell through the floor.
I made this post about how traffic was getting on my nerves and then had to suffer commuting traffic which was even worse and have since been cursed on any car journey in excess of five miles by queues.
So now I am totally self conscious about posting stuff. I have a raft of draft posts about things that I want to go well, or about things I like but I am totally scared to publish them because of the blog curse. And that is like so dumb because I am generally about as superstitious as a vacuum cleaner.
Now let me show you what I am talking about.
I made this post about having got a new flat that I liked. I subsequently lost it and then ended up in this situation.
I made this post (which is by a wide margin the one most mentioned when I meet people) about oriental girls sitting next to me on the train and then oriental girls stopped getting on the train. Like literally, there are no oriental girls on the train any more.
I posted this about how my stats were improving and they subsequently fell through the floor.
I made this post about how traffic was getting on my nerves and then had to suffer commuting traffic which was even worse and have since been cursed on any car journey in excess of five miles by queues.
So now I am totally self conscious about posting stuff. I have a raft of draft posts about things that I want to go well, or about things I like but I am totally scared to publish them because of the blog curse. And that is like so dumb because I am generally about as superstitious as a vacuum cleaner.
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Chez Bue
So, I like breaking the rules. Tonight I went to Chez Bue. Also known as She Bu. Also known as Shepherds Bush. See, its all about making it sound classy.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Plus three
So it looks like we are getting three extra planets. I was kinda hoping they would just ditch Pluto for being a bit pointless. I mean how are you going to explain to school kids how binary planets work? And where did Ceres come from? Its funny that this is such a hot issue, why does everyone seem to have an opinion on it (including me)?
Monday, August 14, 2006
A balanced and judiciously considered article debating the merits and dismerits of why all people on bikes are gaylords
Right, today I am moaning about bikes. All bikes, push bikes, pedal bikes, big, bikes, little bikes, mountain bikes, speed bikes, motor bikes, scooters, mopeds, harleys and choppers. They have one uniting theme. They get in the way and they are very irritating.
Walking down the road there are constant pedal bikes on the pavement swooshing past you or locked up to a lamppost. On the road there are pedal bikes in the road pootling along or motor bikes weaving through traffic making stupid loud noises. On the train there are bikes parked in the doors and getting in the way.
I hate bikes and I hate people who use bikes. Get out of the way.
Now I wouldn’t have a problem with bikes if it wasn’t for the people with the bikes without fail always being inconsiderate tossers. If you could just cycle it down the side of the road, not slowly and in the middle or on the pavement. Get a motor bike with a quiet engine and don’t insist on riding around like a cock and making a huge amount of noise at the weekend on your Kawasaki BJ5000 or whatever. And don’t rev your shitty little mini bike outside my flat, go and do that on your dirty Council estate, not in my nice tree lined cul-de-sac. And no you can’t put your bike on the train as equally as I don’t try to take a lawnmower on the train. Sure it would be nice to have it with me but its rather big and gets in everyones way. Trains are for people, you either cycle or catch the train, not both, if you don’t like that get a car. And next time you squeeze in front of me in traffic you know I might just not brake to avoid you as per usual and try and tip the bike from under you.
Right, rant over. And I don’t want any dirty pro-bike comments or anything that otherwise undermines me being 100% right about this.
Walking down the road there are constant pedal bikes on the pavement swooshing past you or locked up to a lamppost. On the road there are pedal bikes in the road pootling along or motor bikes weaving through traffic making stupid loud noises. On the train there are bikes parked in the doors and getting in the way.
I hate bikes and I hate people who use bikes. Get out of the way.
Now I wouldn’t have a problem with bikes if it wasn’t for the people with the bikes without fail always being inconsiderate tossers. If you could just cycle it down the side of the road, not slowly and in the middle or on the pavement. Get a motor bike with a quiet engine and don’t insist on riding around like a cock and making a huge amount of noise at the weekend on your Kawasaki BJ5000 or whatever. And don’t rev your shitty little mini bike outside my flat, go and do that on your dirty Council estate, not in my nice tree lined cul-de-sac. And no you can’t put your bike on the train as equally as I don’t try to take a lawnmower on the train. Sure it would be nice to have it with me but its rather big and gets in everyones way. Trains are for people, you either cycle or catch the train, not both, if you don’t like that get a car. And next time you squeeze in front of me in traffic you know I might just not brake to avoid you as per usual and try and tip the bike from under you.
Right, rant over. And I don’t want any dirty pro-bike comments or anything that otherwise undermines me being 100% right about this.
Sunday, August 13, 2006
How to drive the wrong way down a dual carriageway
So on my travels this weekend I got caught up in a massive queue (as I usually seem to whenever travelling more than five miles). The upgrade to the Handy Cross Roundabout junction with the A404 and M40 was causing massive queues which I entered just past the off ramp with Marlow.
Now it was pretty obvious this queue was huge and was not moving anywhere fast. I sat for about 90 seconds in the stationary traffic before a few cars ahead of me started doing U-turns on a dual carriageway. Yes that’s right, a U-turn on a dual carriageway and then started driving down the hard shoulder and driving the wrong way up the on ramp back into Marlow. Yes that’s right, up the ramp that has fast merging traffic coming down it onto the dual carriageway. My first thought was omg something is going to go very wrong here in a few short moments.
But then get this. I did it too.
Now why Nick did you think it was cool to drive the wrong way down a dual carriageway? Well some bright spark had noticed that the junction with Marlow was closed off. It had been coned off at the bottom and at the top. So there was no traffic coming down it and we could sneak out of a queue with impunity. Before I knew it everyone was doing it and filtering back onto local roads and around the queue. Genius. Saved me what I think would be about an hours worth of queuing judging by the slowness and size of the queue I saw today.
Also, advice for folks. Avoid the A404 on weekends for a while whilst they are upgrading the roundabout.
Now it was pretty obvious this queue was huge and was not moving anywhere fast. I sat for about 90 seconds in the stationary traffic before a few cars ahead of me started doing U-turns on a dual carriageway. Yes that’s right, a U-turn on a dual carriageway and then started driving down the hard shoulder and driving the wrong way up the on ramp back into Marlow. Yes that’s right, up the ramp that has fast merging traffic coming down it onto the dual carriageway. My first thought was omg something is going to go very wrong here in a few short moments.But then get this. I did it too.
Now why Nick did you think it was cool to drive the wrong way down a dual carriageway? Well some bright spark had noticed that the junction with Marlow was closed off. It had been coned off at the bottom and at the top. So there was no traffic coming down it and we could sneak out of a queue with impunity. Before I knew it everyone was doing it and filtering back onto local roads and around the queue. Genius. Saved me what I think would be about an hours worth of queuing judging by the slowness and size of the queue I saw today.
Also, advice for folks. Avoid the A404 on weekends for a while whilst they are upgrading the roundabout.
Rat man
Oh man this is funny. Like so funny. I mean a transgenic human-rat man, who comes up with this stuff?
Saturday, August 12, 2006
The rules
1. That 'a quiet drink after work' is unlikely to remain quiet when it carries on to Soho
2. That flirting with lesbians is unlikely to get you anywhere
3. That the Circle Line sucks and you might as well have walked
4. That you should never run for (and subsequently board) the wrong express train home
5. That you should not do blog posts whilst still slightly drunk at 1am-ish
I have broken all these rules this evening.
2. That flirting with lesbians is unlikely to get you anywhere
3. That the Circle Line sucks and you might as well have walked
4. That you should never run for (and subsequently board) the wrong express train home
5. That you should not do blog posts whilst still slightly drunk at 1am-ish
I have broken all these rules this evening.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Nick101 sponsored by YouTube
Like much of the rest of the internet, half of my outgoing links these days seem to be directed at YouTube and I am often disappointed if I am browsing through the front page Digg stories or Popular Del.icio.us if I don't get a video at some point.
I mean look, in addition to the video I stuck up on my previous post (about what? 30 minutes ago) I have found videos of some funny water trick thingy, how to take your clothes off in 7 seconds and the (supposedly) best card trick in the world and I have been making dinner and writing this blog post in that time too.
When did I slash the whole of the internet get so demanding with seeing video on the internet? I am sure it has only been the last month or so but now I almost feel I am getting short changed when I don't get video.
I mean look, in addition to the video I stuck up on my previous post (about what? 30 minutes ago) I have found videos of some funny water trick thingy, how to take your clothes off in 7 seconds and the (supposedly) best card trick in the world and I have been making dinner and writing this blog post in that time too.
When did I slash the whole of the internet get so demanding with seeing video on the internet? I am sure it has only been the last month or so but now I almost feel I am getting short changed when I don't get video.
Picture kill
While I seem to be on the Israel versus Lebanon thing at the moment this is an interesting video of the story behind this massively photoshopped picture which made it into the mainstream media and was picked up upon by bloggers and small scale news agencies whilst the big boys seem to have tried to quietly brush it under the carpet upon realising the error.
And here is a link to a similar page with just pictures and commentary for those of you who can't look at videos because of slow connection or the IT dictators blocking YouTube.
Update: Ok the BBC have noted this but are making no denials or admisions as to using the footage.
And here is a link to a similar page with just pictures and commentary for those of you who can't look at videos because of slow connection or the IT dictators blocking YouTube.Update: Ok the BBC have noted this but are making no denials or admisions as to using the footage.
Refugee camp
Oh man, those Israeli's have totally got their act together. An Israeli refugee camp (kinda via). There's also some other mildly interesting current photos of Israel on this photostream.
Sunday, August 06, 2006
Unreported news
In case you hadn’t noticed Israel is bombing the crap out of Lebanon. I know I am repeating the obvious here but this came very recently after North Korea started throwing missiles into the Pacific and Iran started playing with nuclear weapons.
Now Iran and North Korea are known to have fairly strong links to each other and Hezbollah are known to have ties in Iran.
So I see it as no small coincidence that Hezbollah saw fit to cause a stir at an appropriate time and Israel was prompted to respond and media attention appears to have thus been diverted from the aforementioned Iran and North Korea.
Meanwhile what are Iran and North Korea up to? (I would like to stick a link to a news article here but I can't find one!)
And then the other day in London I was accosted by protesters against the Israeli assault on Lebanon who were, in effect, complaining about the British governments failure to intervene in the situation.
How come though, that these protestors failed to notice that nobody (including the UN) has intervened in the Ethiopians (albeit much milder) invasion of Somalia? Or that Somalia hasn’t had a government since 1992?
Now Iran and North Korea are known to have fairly strong links to each other and Hezbollah are known to have ties in Iran.
So I see it as no small coincidence that Hezbollah saw fit to cause a stir at an appropriate time and Israel was prompted to respond and media attention appears to have thus been diverted from the aforementioned Iran and North Korea.
Meanwhile what are Iran and North Korea up to? (I would like to stick a link to a news article here but I can't find one!)
And then the other day in London I was accosted by protesters against the Israeli assault on Lebanon who were, in effect, complaining about the British governments failure to intervene in the situation.
How come though, that these protestors failed to notice that nobody (including the UN) has intervened in the Ethiopians (albeit much milder) invasion of Somalia? Or that Somalia hasn’t had a government since 1992?
Friday, August 04, 2006
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Ten dysfunctional modern styles of serving food and drink to be embraced by the modern world with varying levels of enthusiasm
Inspired by Bng's comments to this post, and done in the style of McSweeney's lists:
A bowl of coffee
A mug of curry
An urn of rice
A pipe of spaghetti
A plate of wine
A urinal of beer
A bottle of kebab meat chips and cheese
A towel of cranberry juice
A rotating helicopter blade of sushi
A deathstar of cucumber sandwiches
A bowl of coffee
A mug of curry
An urn of rice
A pipe of spaghetti
A plate of wine
A urinal of beer
A bottle of kebab meat chips and cheese
A towel of cranberry juice
A rotating helicopter blade of sushi
A deathstar of cucumber sandwiches
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Stupid customer service
So my phone is on the blink and has started to cut out for no apparent reason. This seems to be because it has no charge left in it. Today it cut out at 2pm despite previously telling me it had a full charge and had been on the charger overnight and now it seems to be working again but who knows when it lies to me and bleeds a full battery into the sky?
So I rang the nice people at Orange and after pressing buttons on the (obviously not my mobile) phone for a robot lady for five minutes was asked for some reference number on the charger which I didn't have with me so had to end it and call back when I got home.
The robot lady again tells me that 'Orange are committed to excellent customer service' but you have to spend five minutes wading through the button pressing excercise to get in the queue to speak to a real person. I am then reminded that 'Orange are committed to providing excellent customer service but we're sorry that all our advisors our busy helping other customers at the moment however we expect to answer your call in *dzzt* 26 minutes' which I am paying for at mobile phone rates from my landline because my phone is broken.
Meanwhile the Royal Borough of Windsor and Maidenhead have, for the fourth time, sent me a letter saying that my bank has informed them that my direct debit instruction has failed and they were going to send me something called a payment book so I could go and pay my Council Tax on a Wednesday afternoon down at the post office at the same time I go to collect my pension (ok, so I made that last bit up). And the reason why the direct debit failed? Because they got the last two digits of my account number mixed up despite me sending it to them three times. Probably because some dyslexic, work shy, lazy, inept, work experience kid was too busy playing with solitaire to notice. So I sent them this email:
I have for the fourth time now received advice from you that my direct debit instruction has failed. This is because you mixed up the last two digits of my bank account number. All I am trying to do here is pay you my Council Tax (emphasis put into email).
And in the interim I have paid no Council Tax for the four and a half months I have lived here. What's to bet I get charged for the whole arrears in one go? They try that and Mr L G Ombudsman I am going to see.
And, if you think that's daft, a certain London Borough (without naming names, nudge, nudge, wink, wink) last month took two lots of Council Tax payments out of the entirity of the Borough's direct debit accounts. Naturally this was refunded pretty rapidly but that doesn't cover a large chunk of overdrawn and other punitave charges for residents.
Its all about the customer service you know.
So I rang the nice people at Orange and after pressing buttons on the (obviously not my mobile) phone for a robot lady for five minutes was asked for some reference number on the charger which I didn't have with me so had to end it and call back when I got home.
The robot lady again tells me that 'Orange are committed to excellent customer service' but you have to spend five minutes wading through the button pressing excercise to get in the queue to speak to a real person. I am then reminded that 'Orange are committed to providing excellent customer service but we're sorry that all our advisors our busy helping other customers at the moment however we expect to answer your call in *dzzt* 26 minutes' which I am paying for at mobile phone rates from my landline because my phone is broken.
Meanwhile the Royal Borough of Windsor and Maidenhead have, for the fourth time, sent me a letter saying that my bank has informed them that my direct debit instruction has failed and they were going to send me something called a payment book so I could go and pay my Council Tax on a Wednesday afternoon down at the post office at the same time I go to collect my pension (ok, so I made that last bit up). And the reason why the direct debit failed? Because they got the last two digits of my account number mixed up despite me sending it to them three times. Probably because some dyslexic, work shy, lazy, inept, work experience kid was too busy playing with solitaire to notice. So I sent them this email:
I have for the fourth time now received advice from you that my direct debit instruction has failed. This is because you mixed up the last two digits of my bank account number. All I am trying to do here is pay you my Council Tax (emphasis put into email).
And in the interim I have paid no Council Tax for the four and a half months I have lived here. What's to bet I get charged for the whole arrears in one go? They try that and Mr L G Ombudsman I am going to see.
And, if you think that's daft, a certain London Borough (without naming names, nudge, nudge, wink, wink) last month took two lots of Council Tax payments out of the entirity of the Borough's direct debit accounts. Naturally this was refunded pretty rapidly but that doesn't cover a large chunk of overdrawn and other punitave charges for residents.
Its all about the customer service you know.
Monday, July 31, 2006
Obscureness
So I have just foud the obscure store. Collections of bizarre stories from around the world including the one about the man who cut off his own hand in the local supermarket and then ran around screaming 'I'm not a terrorist' or the one about the Council woman who found a horse's head in her swimming pool and the zombie dance troupe arrested for carrying weapons of mass destruction. You can't make this stuff up.
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Phone dump IV
More random, and in this case, sometimes badly taken photos from my camera over the past month or so with appropriate commentary.
The condemned man approximately 12 hours before the big day. Bng looks pretty relaxed actually.
My 'mug of curry' and my stick arms looking very tanned if I do say so myself.
London, after around four free pints of beer on the boat party I got to go to this week. I know the photo is blurry but this is what it actually looked like fore me too at the time.
Newquay. And a fun advert.
My new sofa. You can see it is still in the store as I haven't bought it yet (still).
My old office.
Haha, nice porch, what made you think that was a good idea?
The African mask my parents bought for me when they were in South Africa last year. This photo was taken around five minutes before it got stuck in the bin beacuse it had wood worm. You can just make out some of the holes in the black stripe bit and dust marks on the lower brownish area. I was a bit cross about this as I rather liked it, oh well.
The condemned man approximately 12 hours before the big day. Bng looks pretty relaxed actually.
My 'mug of curry' and my stick arms looking very tanned if I do say so myself.
London, after around four free pints of beer on the boat party I got to go to this week. I know the photo is blurry but this is what it actually looked like fore me too at the time.
Newquay. And a fun advert.
My new sofa. You can see it is still in the store as I haven't bought it yet (still).
My old office.
Haha, nice porch, what made you think that was a good idea?
The African mask my parents bought for me when they were in South Africa last year. This photo was taken around five minutes before it got stuck in the bin beacuse it had wood worm. You can just make out some of the holes in the black stripe bit and dust marks on the lower brownish area. I was a bit cross about this as I rather liked it, oh well.
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