So my phone is on the blink and has started to cut out for no apparent reason. This seems to be because it has no charge left in it. Today it cut out at 2pm despite previously telling me it had a full charge and had been on the charger overnight and now it seems to be working again but who knows when it lies to me and bleeds a full battery into the sky?
So I rang the nice people at Orange and after pressing buttons on the (obviously not my mobile) phone for a robot lady for five minutes was asked for some reference number on the charger which I didn't have with me so had to end it and call back when I got home.
The robot lady again tells me that 'Orange are committed to excellent customer service' but you have to spend five minutes wading through the button pressing excercise to get in the queue to speak to a real person. I am then reminded that 'Orange are committed to providing excellent customer service but we're sorry that all our advisors our busy helping other customers at the moment however we expect to answer your call in *dzzt* 26 minutes' which I am paying for at mobile phone rates from my landline because my phone is broken.
Meanwhile the Royal Borough of Windsor and Maidenhead have, for the fourth time, sent me a letter saying that my bank has informed them that my direct debit instruction has failed and they were going to send me something called a payment book so I could go and pay my Council Tax on a Wednesday afternoon down at the post office at the same time I go to collect my pension (ok, so I made that last bit up). And the reason why the direct debit failed? Because they got the last two digits of my account number mixed up despite me sending it to them three times. Probably because some dyslexic, work shy, lazy, inept, work experience kid was too busy playing with solitaire to notice. So I sent them this email:
I have for the fourth time now received advice from you that my direct debit instruction has failed. This is because you mixed up the last two digits of my bank account number. All I am trying to do here is pay you my Council Tax (emphasis put into email).
And in the interim I have paid no Council Tax for the four and a half months I have lived here. What's to bet I get charged for the whole arrears in one go? They try that and Mr L G Ombudsman I am going to see.
And, if you think that's daft, a certain London Borough (without naming names, nudge, nudge, wink, wink) last month took two lots of Council Tax payments out of the entirity of the Borough's direct debit accounts. Naturally this was refunded pretty rapidly but that doesn't cover a large chunk of overdrawn and other punitave charges for residents.
Its all about the customer service you know.
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Similar to the customer service at a certain pub in Chelmsford....
Warning: Hysterical lady rant coming up (I just need to get it off my chest)...
Orange pissed me off something chronic when my phone went on the blink last summer. I was on the phone (from the landline 'coz my moblie wasnt working) for at least an hour. They refused to pay for the call becuase to call them from the mobile is free. NOT IF IT DOESNT FUCKING WORK, YOU BASTARDS!!!!!
Anyway, i was paying them £5 a month insurance for the phone, which I started doing after I'd had it for quite a while. I was lead to believe that if anything went wrong with it, they'd send a replacement one. When the call centre finally answered, the woman on the phone said it sounded like it was the battery that was on the blink, not the phone, so before she sent a new phone, I would have to try a new battery nin the phone.
But I dont have a new battery. Well, she could put me through to someone who I could buy a new battery from. Why would I want to buy a new battery? TO LINE YOUR GREEDY FAT CAT POCKET?
If i dont want to buy a new battery, I can go into any orange shop and try a battery there. So I have to take time off work to go to somewhere where theres an orange shop? (this was before they opened the one in Amersham). Shes afraid so, untill I have tried a new battery, theres nothing she can do. The battery isnt insured, just the phone.
So Andy took the phone to an orange shop on his lunchbreak. Where they told him that the phone was so old, they dont have any batteries for them, and becuase it so old, it probaly is the phone that has gone wrong. The man expressed surprise that it managed to keep going so long. He arranged for the ohone to be collected and a new one delivered between 7 and noon that sunday. Excellent? THEY DIDNT COME UNTILL 1.30!!!!! A wasted morning. I was the only one home, and i was really hungover so i got up a bit late and then i was scared to have a shower in case they came while i was in it.
I therefore hate orange, but in a cruel and bitter twist of fate, they are the cheapest service around (I pay about £15 a month normally, inlcuding the SO-CALLED insurance). So I guess I cant really complain, can I?
mark: will that never be laid to rest?
rosie: that is a fine rant, i am impressed that your use of capitals conveys such rage!
It makes me andry just to think about it still. I dont think I have quite recovered from my rage. Just the mention of orange customer services makes my blood boil to this day.
On another note, do tell about the pub in chelmsford.
oh man, you know the pub in chelmsford story. ask me at the pirate party.
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