How to ruin stuff 101

Requires one perfectly good duvet cover with small holes that need patching, one iron on patching kit (available from Woolworths for around £1.79), one perfectly good carpet, a pair of scissors and an iron.

Take duvet cover, remove duvet blanket and place on large flat area; living room carpet is ideal. Iron area which needs patching. Use scissors to cut iron on patches to cover slightly more than area which needs patching.

Place iron on patches over small holes with some spare fabric underneath to absorb any excess adhesive. Iron over patches for approximately 40 seconds ensuring the corners of the patches are well adhered.

Leave to cool for about a minute. Attempt to remove duvet cover from carpet. Realise that iron on patches have adhered themselves to the top side of the duvet cover which has in turn adhered itself well to the under side of the duvet cover which again has adhered itself to the carpet. Scratch head and re-read instructions on iron on patching kit.

Use brute force to remove duvet cover from carpet leaving large mass of firmly affixed glue on carpet and chunks of carpet reciprocally attached to the duvet cover. Separate the top side of the duvet cover from under side of duvet cover.

Stand back and appreciate formerly perfectly good carpet with two very large masses of glue embedded in it (pictured above) and iron on patches just barely affixed to duvet cover with flappy edges.

Update:

The iron on patches came off the duvet cover in the wash. Ironically, the remenants of carpet stuck to the underside did not. Think I am buying a new duvet cover this weekend.