I hope that f***ing hurt

In case you hadn’t guessed by now, the posts that I stick up at 7:30am etc. in the morning were (generally) not written at the same time as they were posted. Most get tweaked a little before final posting but generally the bulk of the early morning posts are created the preceding evening or afternoon whensoever the whimsy of writing takes me (can’t believe I just used the word whimsy) (see, that's the kinda crap that comes out when I start writing stuff at 7:30am). I prefer this approach as it gives me time to proof read what I have written to make sure its not total (as opposed to partial) garbage and gives a degree of consistency in posting rates.

I constructed the remainder of this post yesterday evening and reading it back now it does seem more than a little harsh but the situation as described made me get my rage on so I am going to post it anyway…

So there I am in the supermarket quietly minding my own business and all of a sudden along comes this woman with god awful uncontrolled child and smack, aforementioned god awful uncontrolled child goes head first into my hand basket and lays himself out on the floor.

Me of course being the perfect gentleman says sorry and make to go check shitty child is ok (setting aside it wasn’t my fucking fault in the first place) to be greeted by this stare from this woman as if she had just scraped me off her shoe and found me to be a giant steaming turd. Fucking cheek. So I walked off whilst trying to give her the look of ‘you are an awful mother, and your child is awful, and ugly, and so are you, and you are a vile parasite upon society and I hope you get mangled on the bull-horns of your own SUV’ (I don’t think I managed to convey all that in one look but at least I tried).

Here’s a list of the clever (or just plain mean) things I thought of to say on the way home and wish that I was smart enough slash had the balls to be able to tell her to her face there and then:

‘A couple more hits in the face and he (the child) might not end up with your ugly face.’

‘That’ll fucking learn him to look where he’s going.’

‘All that gin you’ve been drinking must be coming out in the breast milk.’

‘Hahahahahahaha, your child’s a retard.’

‘I ain’t beyond swinging this hand basket to make it connect with your face too.’

‘Do you know who I am? I could get your house knocked down.’