Ten dysfunctional modern styles of serving food and drink to be embraced by the modern world with varying levels of enthusiasm

Inspired by Bng's comments to this post, and done in the style of McSweeney's lists:

A bowl of coffee
A mug of curry
An urn of rice
A pipe of spaghetti
A plate of wine
A urinal of beer
A bottle of kebab meat chips and cheese
A towel of cranberry juice
A rotating helicopter blade of sushi
A deathstar of cucumber sandwiches