Being nice

Responses to people in and around my new place of work that hopefully convey my feelings in a polite manner:

You’re from Australia, really. Perhaps you should go entertain somebody else with that now?

It’s nice the way that you stand so close, it makes me feel like we are special friends.

I am sure your turning up for work at 11am has very little to do with your disproportionately large case load.

Flowers bought from a highway verge on the north circular, what could be more romantic?

Perhaps before coming here you should have considered whether you had the 90 pence bus fare home?

Thank you for shouting at me down the phone. Given your well elucidated comments I will personally request that Parliament considers repealing the Planning Acts on your behalf.