How it should have ended

Amusing short cartoon on how the first (fourth?) (whatever) Star Wars film should have ended.

Simpson-tastic

Delightfully probably not quite legal. Every episode of the Simpsons ever (via).

This life +10

Look, they are making a This Life ten years on TV special. And re-running the original series too.

Ghetto latte

The story of the amusingly titled ghetto latte. And a slightly simplified version for those of you who (like me) haven't got the slighest clue when it comes to Starbucks-speak.

Thing is the cafe at work does the whole free milk thing so I am way tempted to ask them for a ghetto latte and see what they say.

Why cash machines for dwarfs are the dumbest thing ever in the history of all time

This thing that has actually irritated me for a while (but increasingly does so at the moment because the amount I have to use them as they are numerous wherever I seem to be recently) is those low level cash machines. You know the ones that are set down in the wall so you have to stoop over and squint at the screen to be able to see the poorly angled display which is aimed at someone about three feet tall, and stretch your arms down to the keypad which is somewhere around knee height and then grab your cash and card which is helpfully dispensed at the oh-so-convenient just below crotch level.

Now I know these were installed to make it easier for people in wheelchairs to access cash machines but did no-one consider that perhaps everybody fucking else also has to use these cash machines too? And perhaps that everybody fucking else might not be an extra from the Lord of the Rings Trilogy and thus not have the proportions of a three foot stunted ape child? I mean honestly when was the last time you have ever seen a person in a wheelchair using a low level cash machine and sagely musing to themselves about how thoughtful the designers were to install a low level cash machine specially for them? I know how many I have seen. None, ever.

However how many times have you seen people carrying young kids having to strain down with kid in arms to reach the three foot high cash machine, or how many people with bad backs who don’t want to stoop down, or people with lots of heavy shopping, or partially sighted people, or really tall people who have to crouch on their knees to get at the cash machine. Or perhaps a regular person who is just rather fucked off at being made to grovel bent over at three feet in height just to use a fucking cash machine designed to be accommodating to a tiny proportion of the population.

Now don’t get me wrong I am all in favour of inclusive society blah, blah, blah, access for all or whatever (although I appreciate this sentence perhaps doesn’t convey that so well) but why should one very small group get excessively accommodated at the ridiculous expense of everyone else?

I mean, where are the left handed cash machines for example? Or the ones with extra large displays? Or audio cash machines? Why are these groups not catered for in the cash machine market but people in wheelchairs are?

More stuff about the girl

Look, the girl was on TV.

Black box

So on Google Maps and Google Earth a small chunk of land near the M4 just south of the distinctly unexciting suburb on Hanwell is this blacked out area.

You can click here to see for yourself and have a look in more detail.

Now I have stumbled across all sorts of rumours about this black box on my internet travels including allegations that it is a secret miltary base or the Sultan of Brunei's London residence. Clearly the people making these allegations are idiots as this is a crappy bit of land on the outskirts of Hanwell (with Hanwell's sole redeeming feature being that it is not Hayes and generally otherwise being about as interesting as a carpet tile).

Nevertheless, I have been curious as to why this chunk of land was blacked out (or perhaps just not surveryed) so using my secret connections (also known as the aerial photography at work) I can reveal that the blacked out area is in fact... (drum roll)... an empty field.

Hows that for a massive anti-climax?

Two movies I am trying to track down

Now on my internet travels I have come across two movies I want to see that apparently are either in cinemas at the moment or likely to be in the near future. However, neither of which I can track down any information on showings.

Shortbus was recomended by The Girl and looks interesting to say the least.

Idiocracy I found about on Digg and being by Mike Judge (of Family Guy, Office Space) just so looks worth seeing.

Blogiversary

Nick101 is one year old today. It feels very strange to realise I have been doing this blog thing for a whole year now.

This is by a wide margin the worst movie that I have ever seen

So the other night, for reasons I won't go into, I ended up watching Little Man at the cinema.

Now in case you didn't guess by the title of this post, this is the worst movie I have ever seen, ever. And I have seen some bad films in my time. The characters were weak and two dimensional, the plot was none existent, the acting was abysmal, the production values were lower than some home made stuff you can find on YouTube and the supposedly amusing premise of the film was about as funny as having your teeth cleaned by an angle grinder wielded by a blind, sweaty, street cleaner after the night shift on vomit inspection duty.

So it was with some pleasure that I find that IMDB actaully ranks it as the 23rd worst movie ever, the lowest one I have seen on their list.

Anyway, don't ask me how the movie ends because we left before it finished.

Phone dump V

You should have got the idea about my phone dump posts about now. Here's more.

Matt's new road. Hehe, too funny (sorry Matt, the flat was very nice).

GBK, yum. Six inches of burger.

Now, whilst out in Ealing one evening these guys sat down at our table. I have no idea who they are but it was quietly insisted upon that I take a sneaky photo of them because apparently they were on celebrity hot-pants idol or something like that. I have no idea if this is true or not.

Dormerific baby.

Nick and Claire, erm, in a buggy.

This blew apart lunch time plans.

We went to Starbucks instead.