Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Being nice

Responses to people in and around my new place of work that hopefully convey my feelings in a polite manner:

You’re from Australia, really. Perhaps you should go entertain somebody else with that now?

It’s nice the way that you stand so close, it makes me feel like we are special friends.

I am sure your turning up for work at 11am has very little to do with your disproportionately large case load.

Flowers bought from a highway verge on the north circular, what could be more romantic?

Perhaps before coming here you should have considered whether you had the 90 pence bus fare home?

Thank you for shouting at me down the phone. Given your well elucidated comments I will personally request that Parliament considers repealing the Planning Acts on your behalf.

Monday, February 27, 2006

Sea-less-land

This wikipedia article on the Aral Sea came up on popular del.icio.us a few weeks ago. An interesting and slightly scary piece on how if you fuck with your environment it will fuck you back twice as hard.

You can always see my del.icio.us for other linky stuff that I thought was intersting and maybe get a sneak preview of some of the stuff that I link to on the blog.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Week one

Well the first week at my new job was interesting. Not all in a good way but it certainly wasn’t all bad either.

My first day wasn’t so great but it did improve over the course of the week. I have been put, for the time being, in one of the area based teams dealing with small scale stuff that I can do with my eyes closed. Were it not for the antiquated computer systems (Windows 2000 etc.) that I am having a little trouble getting to grips with I could probably polish off my entire case load in an afternoon however I am spinning my work out for the time being so I actually have something to do. I doubt this will be my permanent position as, to be completely blunt, they are paying me too much to do the kind of stuff I am doing at the moment, and that really wouldn’t be a very sensible use of resources.

The people I am working with seem pleasant enough for the most part. The majority of them do seem a little distant from me and the other new principal I started with. I get the impression there is a slight ‘them and us’ thing going on what with me being one of the very few contracted staff, which I wasn’t expecting. Speaking English without a foreign accent, and actually in some cases speaking English at all, does seem to set me apart a little from the majority of my colleagues. Regardless, I didn’t take this job as a social event so whilst it would certainly be nice to make friends with people there I don’t think I am going to loose too much sleep if it turns out they all hate me.

Actually working in Ealing is good. The place is pretty buzzing with activity and has a great London vibe to it without being too in your face overcrowded like I find parts of central London can be. Lunch times are excellent as I have gone from having like a choice of three eateries in Amersham to an as of yet uncounted number in Ealing ranging from Subway and M&S to cute little corner places which I have not yet tried.

The commute from Amersham sucks royally, especially the hideous uncertainty of trying to find a free on street parking space in the morning which can be anything up to twenty minutes walk from the office. Still, this is better than paying £12 a day for the NCP car park opposite the office. This should improve greatly when I move to Maidenhead and can jump on the train as it should be both faster and less stressful than fighting for road space in London rush hour. However, that some parking space is available near(ish) the office is good too as this will allow me to drive in occasionally so I don’t have to do too many site visits using something called a bus.

The highlight of the week was getting my first pay cheque on Thursday for the month. I was feeling a bit low about the place at the time but opening up my pay packet I remembered why I had done this move (aside from career advancement) and a self congratulatory steak (from the aforementioned M&S) and chips dinner that evening left me feeling a whole lot better. It’s not all about the money by a longshot but it can certainly negate some objections I may have.

Now you may notice that I have stuck this post up on Sunday evening as opposed to my regular morning posting time. I am sticking with evening posting for the time being because of the necessity to get out early in the morning to beat the traffic before it gets majorly heavy. Like I said, posting may become a little inconsistent for the next few weeks.

I hope everyone had a good weekend. You can send me email at my new work (and I promise nice fluffy responses for the time being) at [withdrawn].

Friday, February 24, 2006

A date for the diary

Now I’ve always thought that your average mid-20s male (such as my good self) was under-represented in the arena of having ‘special days.’ Dads have fathers day, mums have mothers day, Christmas is for kids really, halloween is for the ugly and valentines day is one to make the girls feel special. So it’s nice to see that now guys have their own special day too. March 20 is now officially (apparently) steak and blow job day which is, well, pretty self explanatory really. Probably for the best that i didn't insert multiple images to annotate this post.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Traffic

So on Monday I left home at 7:45 and arrived at work (well, outside it) at just after 8:30 (45 minutes). On Tuesday I left home 10 minutes later at 7:55 and arrived at work at 9:00 (65 minutes). Yesterday I left home at 8:05 and arrived at work at 9:30 (85 minutes).

So for every 10 minutes later I leave after 7:45, it costs me an extra 20 minutes in commuting time.

This is due to getting stuck in less traffic earlier and of course this meaning you get farther along the journey before getting caught in heavier traffic and then finding a parking space nearer work as (obviously) the best free spaces are taken first and the later you are the farther away you are meaning it takes longer to walk from the car. Suffice to say that I am not messing around at home this morning.

This little statistic in itself is pushing me to consider adjusting my posting time to evenings as opposed to mornings, at least until I move flats.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

New toy

My crudy old monitor which is about eight years old now has gone on the blink (literally). So I took that as a sign that a new monitor was required. A trip to PC World, some drooling over a variety of technology with some (really very) gentle coaxing from Mark and I now have a very nice 19 inch widescreen tft monitor with a yummy screen resolution of 1440 x 900.


The only problem with it is that I cannot find any porn big enough to fit the whole screen.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Hell of a day

Well I always expected my first day to be a little mental and chaotic. I was expecting uncoordinated messiness but I really wasn’t prepared for the way the day panned out.

I got up super early to beat the morning rush down the A40 (or at least allow plenty of time to sit in it) and make sure I was well in time for my 9:30 expected arrival. So I left at 7:45 and arrived at around 8:30 and found a free parking space fairly nearby which was all good. I wandered around the (predominantly closed) shops for a little while before getting cold and deciding that I would rather sit and wait inside than walk around the cold and particularly windy streets.

This is where it started to go a bit wrong. I apparently wasn’t expected at all, not least at the wrong building which I had been told to go to. Anyway, a bit of wrangling for about 20 minutes and I was directed to the right building where I still was a pretty unexpected arrival, despite now being in the right place and bang on time. After some delicate negotiations with a very large security guard I got inside and found my way to the planning department where I was (thankfully) expected although their provisions for helping me get this far left something to be desired.

Ok, fine, I'm in. Brief tour of the department, this is where you are sitting (window seat, w00t) in the east team (again, w00t, not the unreasonably ethnic end of the Borough). Computer, check, log-on, check. Here’s another new guy so you’re not the only one. Ok, things were starting to pick up.

However, the team has no team leader and hasn’t done for three weeks whilst the team leader’s boss is on leave (and has bigger troubles) and that’s where the chain of command appears to stop. So no team leader means no work allocated or any other kind of introductory niceties for the new folks. Having said that, my arrival along with the other new guy pretty much doubled the size of the team (albeit it still less than half staffed with our contribution) so its not like there is much to lead.

So I spent the rest of the day acquainting myself with the computer systems. Not least email which whilst, erm… clunky, works so succeeded in firing off a couple of emails to folks addresses what I could remember and getting some back (thanks folks, much needed) and trying to fathom the really fairly incomprehensible database and mapping systems. Of course I found out later that many of the functions I was trying to access didn’t exist, for example, any kind of meaningful electronic records. That should prove interesting for somewhere that was billed to be paperless.

So a slightly inauspicious start to the proceedings.

Good news is that the commute is way shorter than I expected, free on street parking is available, albeit limited, and there is chance that I could get a coveted parking pass. The people (mostly) seem pleasant enough and I would imagine it is certainly going to be a challenging job to say the least.

I’d like to go at the place with a bit more of a jackhammer today but get the impression that nobody seems to actually know that I am not just some temp, and really don’t want to go pissing my new colleagues off too much by appearing like an overly authoritative jerk. Perhaps I should do a memo?

Monday, February 20, 2006

Look what I got

So I got a nice little haul of leaving pressies from the folks at my old work. I got a really jazzy looking clock which is way cool (it’s staying in the box for the time being to keep it safe while I move flats).

I got salt and pepper mills which I have wanted for ages.

A really nice address book which I have also been wanting for ages together with a pen with my name on it.

I also got two giant bars of chocolate, one box of chocolates and a bottle of Guinness.

I was really chuffed with these rather nice gifts and whilst I did expect some trinkets to mark my departure (because everyone who leaves gets something) I was a little taken aback by the niceness and generosity of the gifts. I also got a really nice card too which (almost) everyone had signed and said nice things in.

So for those of you who read Nick101 at my old work, thanks everyone.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Departure lounge

So today is my last day at my current job and you know I really thought I would have more to say about that. Turns out I haven’t got much to say about it all.

It feels very weird though. I think I will probably do a debrief post on it at some point when it is all over.

Have a good weekend and I will see you on, what is for me, a fairly major and distinctly uncertain Monday.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Playing it cool

So starting off at a new job with entirely new people in a new environment presents me with the very rare opportunity of creating a unique first impression to numerous new people. I am unsure how I should approach this and have been toying with a couple of approaches:

Mysterious stranger: Stay quiet and only chime in when I have something sage or insightful to say. Drawbacks being I would probably never say anything, not being particularly sage or insightful.

Hawaiian: Buy pairs of sunglasses to match every shirt I own and wear them all the time. Of course I can’t afford that many decent pairs of sunglasses so would probably end up looking like Timmy Mallet and I probably wouldn’t be able to see where I was going most of the time although that might be a good thing.

Innuendo: Turn everything into a sex joke, could be funny if I was in a sit-com. Folks would probably think I was just a sleazy jerk though.

Yoda: Speak like Yoda I would. Construct without planning permission and enforcement notice receive you will. Think like twat I would sound.

Refined: Maybe sport a curly pipe like Sherlock Homes’ sidekick, get a monocle like Patrick Moore and a pocket watch too. Actually I think that would be like way fun to do. I wonder where you could buy a pipe, a monocle and a pocket watch. Ebay has got to have some stuff like that surely?

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Present and future

Next Monday I begin my new job. To start with this is going to involve a fair chunk of commuting by car and then (hopefully) as of 13 March, should be a short(ish) train ride from Maidenhead to Ealing Broadway. In either instance this is going to be a big change from my amazingly short commute of around five minutes and available free time as a consequence of that. Also moving home is going to create some (again, hopefully) short term uncertainty about internet access (although I certainly will have access to the internet, the speed of it I am as of yet uncertain).

All this, I suspect, is going to affect blog posting although at the moment I am not sure how. I have every intention of keeping the blog going because I like doing it. So please, if stuff gets erratic over the next month or so, stick with me, I am hoping that it will be temporary. Fingers crossed, a new routine and blog post rhythm will sort itself out.

Back in the present, I am feeling increasingly weird about leaving my job at the end of this week. I have been doing it for a pretty long time and until fairly recently derived quite a bit of satisfaction from it. Also I have made friends there and whilst I doubt I am going to keep in touch with everyone I met there I am still going to miss the place a bit.

I am actually a little confused as how I am supposed to feel about leaving. Half of me wants to tell everyone how much I am going to miss them and how I will genuinely have fond memories of the place and perhaps everyone could come with me if that would be ok and maybe shed an uncharacteristic tear. The other half of me wants to shout ‘see you later losers’ whilst flicking v-signs before doing a donut in the car park and blazing off in an unnecessarily dramatic manner without a backward glance. I am not too sure how to reconcile these two things. Perhaps I could do both?

Meanwhile, it appears that Bng’s blog has been reawakened which is good to see. I have to say I was starting to feel a little blog-lonely recently what with not really being part of a blog ring or anything like that. I am still looking forward to those others who have said they are going to start blogs to get them up and running (you know who you are).

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

You're in the way

I came across this on Flickr (of all places) and, well, it’s funny.

I think I would end up issuing an unreasonable amount of these, given the opportunity, probably most often in the supermarket.

Monday, February 13, 2006

The plane on the moving runway

This little puzzle befuddled me for quite some time and whilst it didn’t quite keep me awake at night I did go to bed for a few days thinking about it. This is the question:

A plane is standing on a runway that can move (some sort of band conveyer). The plane moves in one direction, while the conveyer moves in the opposite direction. This conveyer has a control system that tracks the plane speed and tunes the speed of the conveyer to be exactly the same (but in the opposite direction). Can the plane take off?

Stop reading here. Go and think about it (unless you are a physics master) as after this I am going to go through my lines of thinking and give the answer.

My conclusions:

1. The plane remains in the same position as any forward propulsion achieved by its (say) jet engines is immediately negated by the opposing motion of the runway. The plane therefore remains stationary. Whilst the forward motion of the plane is achieved by the force of the jet on the air, not on the ground, until the plane has gained sufficient velocity to gain lift from moving through the air it is inextricably linked to the ground by gravity and thus the inverse speed of the runway drags the plane backwards meaning it can’t make any forward progress and thus gain any lift. This was my initial conclusion that I stuck with for quite some time but it doesn’t stand up to close scrutiny as, unlike a car, the forward motion of the plane is created by the force of the jet on the air not by the wheels on the ground.

2. The plane remains stationary but rises. Ok so I never thought this one would apply but am going through it anyway. This can’t work because the plane requires the lift of the air passing its wings in order to become airborne. No amount of thrusting from the jets will make it rise if the plane can’t make any forward progress. It would be like having a plane on a stick stuck in the ground (I like the imagery of that). Besides if this did work surely it would be employed on aircraft carriers and other stuff with short runway constraints.

3. The plane proceeds down the runway regardless of what the runway itself is doing. As the jets are acting against the air not the ground the motion of the surface it is on is largely irrelevant. This answer defies my land and car based thinking but really is the only feasible answer. As the engines are thrusting against the air what the plane is doing relative to the air is the important bit. What the ground is doing is largely irrelevant, think for example of a jet plane taking backwards off an aircraft carrier which is moving forward really quickly.

I have to confess this is a bit of a rob from this post (which itself was a rob from this post, but then the internet is like that) and the subsequently confirmed answer here (at least I got the right answer even if it did take me a few days and a bit of coaxing). But it got me thinking and I thought it was sufficiently engaging to warrant blogging.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Someone else to pick up the pieces

The interviews for my job are going on today. I know both Mark and Hannah (who I work with) have applied for the position and I wish them both the best and, personally, I would give them both the job. However, I am not in any kind of job determining position which is a bit of a relief as I am not sure who I would pick put of the two.

Good luck guys.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Picky picky picky

Having done this flat hunting thing for a fair number of weeks now and seen god knows how many places I think have a pretty good grasp of what I like in a flat. A lot of this goes against the grain of what I think you are ‘supposed to like.’ I am of course ignoring obvious stuff like being next to a sewage treatment plant, living in a crack den or being in Slough (all of which are bad).

Like:

1960s flats because they always seem to be well proportioned. I think stemming from when they were designed their internal layout was more important than jamming as much in to as small a space as possible. A lot of the time they are also way ugly on the outside which I think gives them a certain ugly duckling charm.

Wall to wall carpets which are nice and thick and warm and cosy.

Balconies because they are just plain cool. And none of your iron railings and juliet balconies, I mean really big ass ones that you can sit on and stare at your neighbours (the best one I saw was huge and came with an outdoor heater).

Being up high (but not too high) as it has a slightly detached and secure feel to it. You can keep an eye on what’s going on outside without having to let it trouble you because safely elevated.

Big living rooms, because it’s where you spend a lot of time and it’s nice to have some breathing space.

Off street parking, because battling for an on-street parking space is so proletarian and I don’t want to have to walk half a mile from my car to my flat.

Space for a dishwasher, which I think is pretty self explanatory (nowhere seems to have this though despite many places clearly having the space).

Dislike:

Period conversions. Don’t get me wrong I really like character houses, just when they’re subdivided and have flats rammed in it seems to be so badly done. The space is never well proportioned (who wants a living room three metres by three metres in floor area with four metre high ceilings?) and the features that get left behind (if any) look out of place and lost.

Hardwood floors, cold and echoey.

Really pokey modern flats, particularly the ones where two bedrooms have been rammed into an area only really big enough for one bedroom (I saw a few places where the second bedroom was big enough for a single bed but you wouldn’t be able to open slash close the door).

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

What was it you do again?

Looks like the letting agent for my new flat has been in trouble with the planners. I hope they don't hold that against me.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Maidenhead baby (again)

I have a flat in Maidenhead. And this time I have stuck my rental deposit down on it so it shouldn’t be going anywhere like the last place did, no evil tenants to change their minds and stay this time.


Anyhow, this place is a little smaller then the previous place I thought I had secured and only has one bedroom. However it is up on the second floor, which is great because I like being up high, and has a rather funky balcony (pictured, top left) with funky (in a different sense) views over the London to Bristol mainline and a haulage yard. It is also way close to the train station, being only five minutes walk away (that’s five actual minutes, not five estate agent minutes which appear to be about three times longer than a standard minute). Also it has a buzzer entry phone thingy which means it is classy.

Move in date is scheduled (in draft) for the weekend of 11 March.

I am still a little disappointed that I didn’t get the first place I thought I had secured as it was bigger and as equally well decorated internally. However it was further away from the train station and supposedly in a crumby area (although I still refuse to accept that to a certain degree).

Regardless, I am happy with the place I have got.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Tying up the loose strings

You may recall my post about the mobile home Inquiry and my subsequent (somewhat self congratulatory) post, Inquiry debrief. So I am most pleased to report the appeal was dismissed (meaning we won) (and of course this includes my favourite bit… getting my name on the ‘end credits’ of the decision notice). The decision notice even included a reference to my remark under cross examination about the mobile home park being a little twee for my tastes, sadly it wasn’t worded quite like that.

I am quite pleased that this decision came before I leave my current job as I have plugged a sizeable chunk of time and effort into the case so getting a win is a real plus. Whilst it is by far and away not the end of it in the grand scheme of things it is a major landmark.

Whilst I am happy to be moving on to new things there are a number of cases I still have running that I am going to have to pass on to whoever picks up my post that I kinda would like to find out what goes on. My self imposed rules mean I won’t divulge to much about the cases but I am going to log them in a fairly vague form. So here is a list of the cases I would like to see the outcome of (and in honesty the ones that I think would have made really good blog posts had I had the nerve to write about them):

The marker posts
The ostrich farm
The reality TV building
The water bottles
The landfill site
The worst extension in the world

Friday, February 03, 2006

101 x 1000

Having not deleted an email, read or unread, since 21 June 2004 I can now proudly claim to have an email inbox containing no less than 1000 unread emails (actually now 1007 at the time of this post).

How's that for an entirely redundant achievement? And on a numerical theme, this post also happens to be post number 101, which I couldn't really allow to slip past without some sort of comment.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Nuclear futures

Recently the Government appears to be considering a U-turn on nuclear energy policy and toying with the idea of re-introducing nuclear power as a way of generating electricity. This, if enacted, could result in the construction of a new generation of nuclear power stations to generate the nation’s electricity supply. I can’t say I welcome this as a particularly sustainable and ecologically slash environmentally sound way of generating electricity. Plumbing more investment into the seemingly wide array of renewable energy sources seems to be a much wiser long term solution.

However, renewable energy sources do not, as of yet, appear to be bearing quite as much fruit as could be hoped for (arguably due to a lack of investment and possibly commitment). Additionally given recent concerns about the supplies of traditional hydrocarbon fuels (environmental merits notwithstanding) relating to the practical availability of the stuff and that many of such resources are now caught up in politically unstable locations (by which I mean a bunch of gun totting lunatics, yes that includes the Americans) around the globe I can see why going for the previously tried and tested, and I would hope in this day and age, somewhat more refined, nuclear generation option may be considered preferable.

I doubt picking the nuclear option is going to be anyone’s first choice, especially given that even nuclear fuel sources are not exclusively sourced from nice friendly and stable countries with fluffy western ideals. However, in the grand scheme of things I think I have to list my preferences in terms of how to get electricity as follows:

1. Nice environmentally friendly renewable sources
2. Some possibly slightly messier nuclear option
3. Burning hydrocarbons
4. Using soylent green (although I am unsure of its electricity generating properties)

And then a long way down the list, right at the very bottom in fact…

5. Not having electricity at all.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Say what?

I start my job as Principal Planner with my new employer in three weeks time. As I understood it I will be the deputy to the Team Leader working in one of two area based teams.

So with this in mind I was a little disarmed to read in my professional magazine of choice that my new employer is advertising for two new Team Leaders. So I guess the current Team Leaders are leaving. Where does that leave me?

Eh-oh.